Tierra Encantada

Friday, February 24, 2006

Change

I started blogging on myspace, but I feel way too old to be there, so I'm transferring my first few posts. :o)

Monday, October 17, 2005

The other night I was at an organizational dinner, the guest speaker was a trainer whose main focus is CHANGE. I had been through the training, so it wasn’t new to me, but was a good reminder of everything I had learned. The foundation of the training is based on cognitive psychology and the fact that we believe what we tell ourselves is true, what we let ourselves believe. Through a combination of creating a vision, goal setting, self-talk and daily positive affirmations, we can change anything in our lives that we don’t like. Well, it won’t make me taller, so I shouldn’t say anything. This doesn’t mean we have power to bend everyone around us to our will, but it does mean we have the power to change ourselves. And sometimes, if we change ourselves for the better, the way people react to us may change for the better.

The technique is so simple, yet can be applied to any aspect of our lives. It can be major changes like career advancement, quitting smoking or improving our relationships with people or something small like eating better, exercising more or not letting the little things annoy.

Make a list of everything you don’t like about your life and a list everything you’d like your life to be. This forms the basis for your change, your goals. Take some time to daydream, create your vision of what you would like things to be like ideally. The more detail the better. Write down your goals, your vision. By writing it down, you are making a commitment to your dreams. It doesn’t matter how impossible they may seem, they are your dreams. Don’t worry about how you’re going to achieve the goal, just set the goal.

Next, start the self-talk and daily affirmations. Tell yourself you already are what your want to be. You may feel a little like Stuart Smalley at first, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me.” Let me give you some examples of positive affirmations: “I am a non-smoker”, “I’m a healthy person who exercises and eats right”, “I’m affectionate with my loved ones”. Bad examples would be “I won’t smoke”, “I’ll try to exercise more and eat better”, “I won’t act like such a b*tch”. See the difference? Write down your affirmations and review them at least a couple of times a day. Let all self-talk be positive, refuse to express negative attitudes and display negative behaviors.

Here’s where your brain starts to really work for you. The more you affirm your new reality, the more you think about your new vision, your new goals, the more your brain starts to focus on what it’s hearing and seeing, the faster your brain starts to believe this new reality. The farther real life is away from the new reality of your brain, the more tension there is and the more determined your brain is to eliminate the dissonance between the two. This tension prompts your brain to start behaving in ways to make the two realities the same. You start making decisions to change your behavior and your thinking. Your brain starts filtering information in ways to help you overcome obstacles and find solutions that will help you to achieve your goals. It’s that easy.

There are things that hold us back from succeeding in our personal and professional lives. We all have habits, mindsets, and emotional baggage. We can be our own best friend or our own worst enemy. The hard part is looking within and acknowledging our weaknesses, our fears, our imperfections and our shortcomings. It’s painful to admit we are less than we would hope to be. It’s easier to place blame elsewhere or say to ourselves there is nothing we can do about it and give up or walk away or settle for things as they are. It’s true there are some things in life that we just can’t control, but we can control our own actions, what we do, what we feel, how we react to other people and situations. Success comes down to our own strength of will and willingness to change.
So, ask yourself: what about yourself or your life are you unhappy with? What would you like to be better? What do you secretly wish for, but are afraid to really want for or go after? Are you willing to do a little self-analysis and a little work to transform your life? Every minute of every day represents an opportunity to change. Are you willing to take advantage of the opportunities

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